Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Affairs can be loaded with problems, cause sadness, and other harms. Also you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, adult dating for merried.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek affair. I am conserned mostly though it is just the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to turn the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos the world has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but society also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your relatives or anybody else? You would need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, very big really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sadly this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his woman for a multitude of reasons. As a man I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed separately, our ordinary concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair